repost: changing your mind?
(Repost with update)
If you’re a bride on a budget, you can’t afford to become impulsive. Every booking must be carefully weighed. Every decision, final. Every choice must be THE ONE.
I knew all of these. And yet, I’ve committed one of the biggest crimes against planning for a budget wedding: CHANGING MY MIND! Not once, but THRICE FOUR TIMES!!!
Money-Wasted Scenario #1:
Rewind: I’ve blogged about these skirts. How beautiful is the embroidery. How perfect is the color. How wonderful they are because they can be worn again.
Fast-forward: I saw another dress which D and I thought is more suitable for our bridesmaids. As for the skirt, I took one and gave my mother the other. One more is left in my closet.
will you buy a dream wedding?
Not too many days ago, I posted my sentiments at the w@w yahoogroup, asking my fellow brides-to-be if it ever crossed their minds not to push through with the wedding. Because it did mine, quite a few times already. I’m not having a Is-he-the-man-I-want-to-be-with-for-the-rest-of-my-life? wedding jitter nor the Am-I-really-ready-to-commit? kind. No, it’s not like that.
My reasons were more on being practical: 1) I want something non-traditional, something intimate and small. A wedding just amongst ourselves and our families. 2) And that I am reluctant to spend for what the guests will think and say about our wedding. I don’t want to create a wedding to please my guests.
Before I let out these thoughts in writing, I was planning a wedding. Happily doing so? I’m not sure. On the borderline of sanity? Most likely.
If you’ve followed this blog, you know that I’m weaving a dream wedding on a budget. Now, you shouldn’t take people seriously when they speak of making your dreams come true on a shoestring budget. It’s just another dream.
Yes, I learned that. And I also learned that most dream weddings involve guests. Did I say I’m hesitant to spend for them? As I go deeper into the crazy world of wedding preparations, I slowly but very clearly realized that I was planning a wedding for my guests. The menu, the setup, the flowers, even my dress are at the mercy of their scrutiny and judgment. And I fear both. So I sometimes find myself making decisions based on whether or not it will have a ‘wow’ factor on my beloved guests. Whose dream wedding is it anyway? I’ve fallen in my own trap.
So I had to stop and ask, in an effort to bring back sense into myself and our wedding.
Why should I share my wedding to a group of guests (who probably only half are well-wishers and the other half are onlookers, whom I don’t want to spend money for)?
But then, why should I keep it amongst ourselves?
Why spend for a one-day-affair instead of using the money to buy something else? Something more lasting.
But why not, if the one-day affair is the most important day of our lives? Don’t memories last?
If you have the chance to make a dream come true, why won’t you take it? Cinderella took it even if the dream only lasts until 12 midnight. And look what happened.
But if the dream has a price tag, will you buy it?
Why won’t you?
*****
I am truly grateful to the w@w community for sharing what they can to help me remember what weddings are for and the essence of planning for it. Ours is still a budget (nothing we can do about that). But I am ‘re-dreaming’ and redeeming it.
Also worth mentioning are two posts from A Pratical Wedding and East Side Bride, that provided the last waves of current for my light bulb moment.
Happy preps to everyone. And to me, too =)
staging a wedding
The past weeks had been a never-ending search for a wedding caterer, photographer and whatnot. I was telling myself everything would have been easier if our prospects (vendors) won’t have to subject to 3 important qualifications:
1. That they deliver good-quality service.
2. That they fit our budget.
3. That they deliver good-quality service and fit our budget.
*** *** *** *** ***
Seriously, a budget wedding is so damn easy to achieve. All that one really needs to get married is an officiating personnel, the rings, some witnesses and a partner. It’s actually the dream that complicates everything. And it’s when we get so mired in our fairy-tale ideas that wedding preparations became what seems to be a never-ending period of madness.
We’re sweating that small stuff because, yes, dream weddings are made up of those teeny, weeny bit of details. If we didn’t get the right color. If the ribbons were tied differently. If the band played the wrong song.
I got lost in the trappings of my own dream wedding that I failed to see the essence of it all. I had to pause, step back and look at the wider picture. I had to stop looking behind rose-colored eyes.
I want OUR wedding (not mine alone) to celebrate us. Not stage us. Yes, that is my dream.
*** *** *** *** ***
Did anyone fits the bill? No one did and I think I’m going crazy.
never buy just because it’s on sale
Last Sunday, D and I were at a nearby bridal fair to look around for possible wedding vendors. We were lingering at one of the booths looking at their display when a young gentleman handed us their flyer and explained the inclusions of their very special, available-only-today package. Then it happened. My old shopping instinct floored me and I was unable to escape from it.
Buy 2 Take 1!
(But do we really need 3?)
No, but it’s such a sweet deal. We’ll save a lot.
(From buying 2 of something that we only need 1 of?)
But it’s a great buy. You’ll get one for free.
(When you buy 2! Besides, we only have a budget for 1. And, 1 is all we need.)
They may not have this sale again. This is a steal.
(Yes, and it’s picking on your shopaholic brain. Snap out of it. We’re not buying.)
Conversation above is only made-up but as you’ve probably guessed, it was D who talked me out of buying, er… booking a supplier. Although at first, I thought I was being reasonable, wanting to grab a package that’s over our budget because it seemed too good of a bargain to let go of, I realized that I was back to my impulsive shopping habits all over again. Good thing he was there because if it were just me, I would have gone straight to paying the reservation fee quicker than you can say freebies.
Honestly, I still think that the offer is a good deal but I agree with D that we can’t say it’s the best that we can get since we haven’t really looked around yet. And, as he cleverly pointed out, we’ve already streamlined our priorities and most of what’s included in the package are items that fall on our ‘If-the-budget-permits’ list. So in essence, we shouldn’t be making budget for something that from the start, we declared we don’t need. (And it bugs me why sometimes, I don’t understand this part. Hehe.)
Dream wedding on a budget still on?
Definitely! I am the dream, he is the budget and we make a lovely couple!
Happy wedding preps everyone!
on a tight budget
Elegance doesn’t mean extravagance, but quality has a price. – Sheng
All couples strive to make their weddings beautiful and elegant. Yes, even those working on a tight budget. Actually, you can round-up a number of wedding vendors who can cater to your budget, but the resonating question is ‘Can you get good-quality service from them?‘ Oftentimes, the answer is no.
D and I are on a tight budget ourselves and we’re on a mission to make our wedding something our guests will remember and talk about (in a nice, complimentary way.) Some say it’s not possible, beautiful weddings are expensive no matter how many money-saving ideas we try. Others disagree, including myself. But is it–a polished, tasteful budget wedding– really doable?
I strongly believe it is, but it can’t be done in a single sweeping as large doses of effort and hardwork are required. And to help some budget brides out there planning their own budget wedding, I’ve streamlined a few guidelines that I’ve learned in the process of making my dream wedding come true.
1. Must have, at best, majority of these: TIME, PATIENCE, CREATIVITY, ARTISTRY, IMAGINATION, RESOURCEFULNESS, EYE FOR DETAIL, PEOPLE WHO CAN AND ARE WILLING TO HELP.
2. Focus on your budget and your non-negotiables. Identify the things you cannot compromise from the things that you want but can do away without. Know the difference between essentials and nice-to-have’s.
3. Explore other options. If you’re eyeing high-profile vendors because of their quality services, but knew that they just won’t fit the budget (you shouldn’t be eyeing high-profile vendors in the first place), look for low-key vendors who don’t have their names out yet but have tremendous talent. There will be an element of risk, so make sure to talk to people who’ve tried them and ask for their feedback.
4. Know what you want. It’s hard enough to work on a budget, it’s even harder if you don’t know what you want. Finalize your list of must-have’s, then work from there.
5. Look everywhere. Don’t just go to bridal shops or wedding stores. And sometimes, you can get things cheaper if you won’t say it’s for a wedding. Wedding has become a profitable business and some people charge a bit higher when they know it will be used for a wedding. I learned this when I went to a seamstress. I showed her a picture I got from the Internet and asked how much it would cost to have the gown made. She told me the price. Then someone else approached her with almost the same design, only it’s not a wedding gown, and the price she quoted is almost half of the price she told me. I asked the seamtress why is that so and she said that they have a minimum price for wedding gowns, no matter how simple and easy they are to make. I left her shop, naturally.
6. Be realistic. If you live far from a beach, having a beach wedding is obviously more expensive than, say, a garden wedding. Often, closer to home is cheaper. If you need to travel or get the service of a preferred but out-of-town supplier, make sure that it ends up cost-effective than if you would go to a local source. Know that there are certain things your budget can’t afford. If you really want them, find the next best alternative.
7. Don’t go for cheap all-in-packages. Because more often than not, that’s what they are: cheap, and the reason behind a lot of so-so budget weddings. For me, beautiful weddings are well-thought of and they certainly don’t come packaged as a cheap solution to your limited finances.
8. Ask around. Ask for recommendations, for cheaper deals, for tips. Word of mouth is not the best form of advertisement for nothing.
9. See if you can get freebies. If you’re buying or relying on your suppliers for everything, chances are you will exceed your budget. Try to ask relatives and friends, maybe they have something that you need. Like the perfect bridal car, or a grandma’s classy and vintage veil.
10. DIY, of course. I can’t stress enough how creativity, resourcefulness and imagination will play an important role in this endeavor. DIY wedding projects can range from tacky to stand-out crafts. There are numerous DIY resources and most of them offer wonderful ideas that you can use for your big day. If you fancy a themed wedding, make sure to pick one with materials that are readily available and inexpensive. And if the best project you’ve done so far is draw a straight line, you can ask help from family and friends who are more gifted in the creative department. You’ll be surprised at how many DIY projects you can do for your wedding and how much you can save too.
11. Lastly, the most beautiful wedding is the one that reflects the overflowing love that the couple has for one another. Let that love fill in every hollow spaces, incomplete details, incorrect spellings and imperfect pieces that your wedding might have. So when you look back, you’ll realize everything was perfect after all.
Happy wedding preps everyone!
2 wedding dreams
Last night, I dreamed D and I were over at my Dad’s tailor and she (yes, my Dad’s tailor is a she, an old woman in fact) was taking our measurements. I remember how I felt so relieved, as she was wrapping the tape around my waist, that she will make my wedding gown and D’s pants. I think the feeling of relief was because she doing them means cost is minimal.
Reality is she doesn’t make gowns and is probably too old now to sew anything.
The night before that, I dreamed that I was with my mother and D scouting Dangwa, a place in Manila popular for the flower vendors that lined its street. I was a bit tensed as I realized that the flowers I like to use for my wedding are more expensive than I expected.
Reality is I’ve never been to Dangwa but I hope to go there to buy flowers.
{Photo by MangoRED :: mangored dot com}
So maybe it’s just the stress of the preparations but I think what these dreams mean is I’m a little anxious that our outfits and flowers will go over our budget. And I am. I am anxious about everything going over budget.
But I eased up when D told me that if he has to, he’s willing to use my brother’s Barong (the one he used for his wedding last year) so we won’t have to buy a new one. Aww, what a sweet guy! Can’t wait to marry him.
