on DIY wedding: is it a yes or a no?
I love creative crafts. I love art projects. I love the feel of personalized items. The imperfect beauty of something made by the hand. Tediously. But always with love. In short, I love DIY.
My fiance, on the other hand, loves mass production. Things that look exactly the same. Cut, colored and done perfectly he same. Although an artist, he’d rather buy than create. He likes the quality of things professionally made. And would rather spend his time earning money to afford them than make them.
So our ideas often clash. Sometimes, they clash real hard.
But being a DIY advocate marrying a DIY non-enthusiast, it allowed me to see the other side of the coin, which gave me a whole new perception on wedding, budget and DIY.
Let’s face it. Going the DIY route, especially for your own wedding, is not for everyone. And it doesn’t mean that because you didn’t lift a finger to craft something for your wedding, it won’t be as personalized. Nor it means that DIY weddings are always friendly on the pocket. Trust me, if you won’t watch closely, having things done by yourself sometimes turns out to be more costly than having it made professionally.
So when are DIY thingies really worth the time and the effort? I’ve listed a few points, hopefully to help you determine whether or not you have the heart for DIY:
1. If you love creating. Nothing beats doing something that you’re passionate about. If time, effort, labor, burnt hands, cut fingers and other DIY pains don’t faze you, then by all means, follow your heart’s desire. A lot of those who DIY do it for the love of doing it and not necessarily to help the budget (it’s just a happy consequence, sometimes).
2. If you have time. If it takes 4 hours for you to finish one craft and all you can really spare is 30 minutes everyday, then it makes perfect sense for you to stop and rethink your DIY career. Time is gold. And if you think you’re wasting precious minutes doing something you’d rather buy, then you are.
3. If you have the skills. Seriously, gauge your skills and the task that you want to impose on yourself first before you undertake a project. If it’s too much hassle, forget about it.
4. If you’re tight on the budget. But be careful. Always include the cost of the materials, your efforts, the time you spent and the quality of your work when you hold your DIY project against something professionally made.
5. If you have the resources. Or you know where to get them inexpensively.
6. If you want something unique and tailor-made to your taste and preference. And you’re absolutely sure that no one else can do it but you.
7. If you know you can do it. You’ve been making your own hair accessories since you were in gradeschool, why not for your own wedding?
And lastly,
8. DIY because nobody else is making and selling it. What choice have you got?
Doing It Yourself is not always easy and not for everybody. But for those who love it, it’s never too hard to do. Enjoy your DIY moments!
repost: changing your mind?
(Repost with update)
If you’re a bride on a budget, you can’t afford to become impulsive. Every booking must be carefully weighed. Every decision, final. Every choice must be THE ONE.
I knew all of these. And yet, I’ve committed one of the biggest crimes against planning for a budget wedding: CHANGING MY MIND! Not once, but THRICE FOUR TIMES!!!
Money-Wasted Scenario #1:
Rewind: I’ve blogged about these skirts. How beautiful is the embroidery. How perfect is the color. How wonderful they are because they can be worn again.
Fast-forward: I saw another dress which D and I thought is more suitable for our bridesmaids. As for the skirt, I took one and gave my mother the other. One more is left in my closet.
rumination on a wedding gown part 3
How does it feel like to wear a dress you don’t love on your wedding day?
One thing I know, the feeling is nowhere near marrying a guy you don’t love on your wedding day.
Humor me, I’m just trying to be funny because I will be wearing such a gown on my wedding day. A gown that I do not love.
will you buy a dream wedding?
Not too many days ago, I posted my sentiments at the w@w yahoogroup, asking my fellow brides-to-be if it ever crossed their minds not to push through with the wedding. Because it did mine, quite a few times already. I’m not having a Is-he-the-man-I-want-to-be-with-for-the-rest-of-my-life? wedding jitter nor the Am-I-really-ready-to-commit? kind. No, it’s not like that.
My reasons were more on being practical: 1) I want something non-traditional, something intimate and small. A wedding just amongst ourselves and our families. 2) And that I am reluctant to spend for what the guests will think and say about our wedding. I don’t want to create a wedding to please my guests.
Before I let out these thoughts in writing, I was planning a wedding. Happily doing so? I’m not sure. On the borderline of sanity? Most likely.
If you’ve followed this blog, you know that I’m weaving a dream wedding on a budget. Now, you shouldn’t take people seriously when they speak of making your dreams come true on a shoestring budget. It’s just another dream.
Yes, I learned that. And I also learned that most dream weddings involve guests. Did I say I’m hesitant to spend for them? As I go deeper into the crazy world of wedding preparations, I slowly but very clearly realized that I was planning a wedding for my guests. The menu, the setup, the flowers, even my dress are at the mercy of their scrutiny and judgment. And I fear both. So I sometimes find myself making decisions based on whether or not it will have a ‘wow’ factor on my beloved guests. Whose dream wedding is it anyway? I’ve fallen in my own trap.
So I had to stop and ask, in an effort to bring back sense into myself and our wedding.
Why should I share my wedding to a group of guests (who probably only half are well-wishers and the other half are onlookers, whom I don’t want to spend money for)?
But then, why should I keep it amongst ourselves?
Why spend for a one-day-affair instead of using the money to buy something else? Something more lasting.
But why not, if the one-day affair is the most important day of our lives? Don’t memories last?
If you have the chance to make a dream come true, why won’t you take it? Cinderella took it even if the dream only lasts until 12 midnight. And look what happened.
But if the dream has a price tag, will you buy it?
Why won’t you?
*****
I am truly grateful to the w@w community for sharing what they can to help me remember what weddings are for and the essence of planning for it. Ours is still a budget (nothing we can do about that). But I am ‘re-dreaming’ and redeeming it.
Also worth mentioning are two posts from A Pratical Wedding and East Side Bride, that provided the last waves of current for my light bulb moment.
Happy preps to everyone. And to me, too =)
rumination on a wedding gown part 2
It took me months to research the design I want for my wedding gown. But it only took me less than a couple of hours to buy my dress off the rack. Yes, off the rack. Specifically off the rack of the one of the many bridal dress shops in Divisoria.
Why off the rack?
Because as I’ve mentioned here, a custom-made wedding gown has a minimum price no matter how simple the design is. I’ve inquired on a number of dressmakers and they all gave me a price higher than what I expect the gown would cost. So in this case, budget prevailed over preference.
But how about the quality?
Ok, I will not lie on this one. My gown is not something I can rave about. Although it may look nice at first glance, you’ll notice the flaw upon close inspection.
rumination on a wedding gown part 1
Believe me, I have no fixation on THE dress. I’ll wear anything that fits in the description of a wedding gown. So long as it fits me, of course.
Although here, I said I go for simple and streamlined designs because I don’t want to feel encumbered by my dress. Moreso because the plan is hop from tables to tables and converse with each and every one of the guests. And also because I’m petite, I want a dress I can carry, not a dress that can carry me.
staging a wedding
The past weeks had been a never-ending search for a wedding caterer, photographer and whatnot. I was telling myself everything would have been easier if our prospects (vendors) won’t have to subject to 3 important qualifications:
1. That they deliver good-quality service.
2. That they fit our budget.
3. That they deliver good-quality service and fit our budget.
*** *** *** *** ***
Seriously, a budget wedding is so damn easy to achieve. All that one really needs to get married is an officiating personnel, the rings, some witnesses and a partner. It’s actually the dream that complicates everything. And it’s when we get so mired in our fairy-tale ideas that wedding preparations became what seems to be a never-ending period of madness.
We’re sweating that small stuff because, yes, dream weddings are made up of those teeny, weeny bit of details. If we didn’t get the right color. If the ribbons were tied differently. If the band played the wrong song.
I got lost in the trappings of my own dream wedding that I failed to see the essence of it all. I had to pause, step back and look at the wider picture. I had to stop looking behind rose-colored eyes.
I want OUR wedding (not mine alone) to celebrate us. Not stage us. Yes, that is my dream.
*** *** *** *** ***
Did anyone fits the bill? No one did and I think I’m going crazy.
the opposite of love
… is not hate, it is indifference – Elie Wiesel.
A few days ago, D and I had a disagreement over… wedding favors. Really petty but I guess because we’ve been dealing with differences in our ideas and opinions since we started with the wedding preparations, the smallest of sparks can ignite the biggest of fires. He was concerned about the budget. I was concerned about the budget, too and at the same time, lobbying my dream wedding.
And when I got tired of defending my ‘wants’, I feigned indifference, telling him that I’ll keep my hands off the wedding preparations and he should do all the planning instead. He can do whatever he wants with our wedding and I won’t care a bit.
Of course, as a bride, the thought of not being part of the preparations for my own wedding is like a stake piercing right through my heart. And as if to fan the flames, he took the dare and said he’ll take care of everything from then on.
So there I was, sulking the whole day, whining at wedding forums and bawling my heart at fellow brides who understand my sentiments. But sad as I was, I was prepared to keep my word. I was resolved to become indifferent.
Then we got to talked.
Finally, he asked me if I really want to be out of the planning. I said no, of course. I’d be the saddest bride if I don’t get to plan my own wedding. So he placed our wedding back in my hands, we hugged and fell in love all over again.
Wedding preparation is a very precarious stage to be in. So take heart and, as the saying goes, when you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.
simple weddings are beautiful
This picture is so breathtaking…
{Photo found on mintdesignblog dot com :: Keeping It Simple}
And Ellie of Mint couldn’t have said it any better when she wrote: “You can tell the day wasn’t about the dress, the cake, the color scheme, the menu… just the marriage!”
Maybe there’s a place as serene, as intimate and as lovely as this near us. I have to find it. Seriously.
never buy just because it’s on sale
Last Sunday, D and I were at a nearby bridal fair to look around for possible wedding vendors. We were lingering at one of the booths looking at their display when a young gentleman handed us their flyer and explained the inclusions of their very special, available-only-today package. Then it happened. My old shopping instinct floored me and I was unable to escape from it.
Buy 2 Take 1!
(But do we really need 3?)
No, but it’s such a sweet deal. We’ll save a lot.
(From buying 2 of something that we only need 1 of?)
But it’s a great buy. You’ll get one for free.
(When you buy 2! Besides, we only have a budget for 1. And, 1 is all we need.)
They may not have this sale again. This is a steal.
(Yes, and it’s picking on your shopaholic brain. Snap out of it. We’re not buying.)
Conversation above is only made-up but as you’ve probably guessed, it was D who talked me out of buying, er… booking a supplier. Although at first, I thought I was being reasonable, wanting to grab a package that’s over our budget because it seemed too good of a bargain to let go of, I realized that I was back to my impulsive shopping habits all over again. Good thing he was there because if it were just me, I would have gone straight to paying the reservation fee quicker than you can say freebies.
Honestly, I still think that the offer is a good deal but I agree with D that we can’t say it’s the best that we can get since we haven’t really looked around yet. And, as he cleverly pointed out, we’ve already streamlined our priorities and most of what’s included in the package are items that fall on our ‘If-the-budget-permits’ list. So in essence, we shouldn’t be making budget for something that from the start, we declared we don’t need. (And it bugs me why sometimes, I don’t understand this part. Hehe.)
Dream wedding on a budget still on?
Definitely! I am the dream, he is the budget and we make a lovely couple!
Happy wedding preps everyone!
