Wedding Thoughts

on DIY wedding: is it a yes or a no?

I love creative crafts. I love art projects. I love the feel of personalized items. The imperfect beauty of something made by the hand. Tediously. But always with love. In short, I love DIY.

My fiance, on the other hand, loves mass production. Things that look exactly the same. Cut, colored and done perfectly he same. Although an artist, he’d rather buy than create. He likes the quality of things professionally made. And would rather spend his time earning money to afford them than make them.

So our ideas often clash. Sometimes, they clash real hard.

But being a DIY advocate marrying a DIY non-enthusiast, it allowed me to see the other side of the coin, which gave me a whole new perception on wedding, budget and DIY.

Let’s face it. Going the DIY route, especially for your own wedding, is not for everyone. And it doesn’t mean that because you didn’t lift a finger to craft something for your wedding, it won’t be as personalized. Nor it means that DIY weddings are always friendly on the pocket. Trust me, if you won’t watch closely, having things done by yourself sometimes turns out to be more costly than having it made professionally.

So when are DIY thingies really worth the time and the effort? I’ve listed a few points, hopefully to help you determine whether or not you have the heart for DIY:

1. If you love creating. Nothing beats doing something that you’re passionate about. If time, effort, labor, burnt hands, cut fingers and other DIY pains don’t faze you, then by all means, follow your heart’s desire. A lot of those who DIY do it for the love of doing it and not necessarily to help the budget (it’s just a happy consequence, sometimes).

2. If you have time. If it takes 4 hours for you to finish one craft and all you can really spare is 30 minutes everyday, then it makes perfect sense for you to stop and rethink your DIY career. Time is gold. And if you think you’re wasting precious minutes doing something you’d rather buy, then you are.

3. If you have the skills. Seriously, gauge your skills and the task that you want to impose on yourself first before you undertake a project. If it’s too much hassle, forget about it.

4. If you’re tight on the budget. But be careful. Always include the cost of the materials, your efforts, the time you spent and the quality of your work when you hold your DIY project against something professionally made.

5. If you have the resources. Or you know where to get them inexpensively.

6. If you want something unique and tailor-made to your taste and preference. And you’re absolutely sure that no one else can do it but you.

7. If you know you can do it. You’ve been making your own hair accessories since you were in gradeschool, why not for your own wedding?

And lastly,

8. DIY because nobody else is making and selling it. What choice have you got?

Doing It Yourself is not always easy and not for everybody. But for those who love it, it’s never too hard to do. Enjoy your DIY moments!

repost: changing your mind?

(Repost with update)

If you’re a bride on a budget, you can’t afford to become impulsive. Every booking must be carefully weighed. Every decision, final. Every choice must be THE ONE.

I knew all of these. And yet, I’ve committed one of the biggest crimes against planning for a budget wedding: CHANGING MY MIND! Not once, but THRICE FOUR TIMES!!!

Money-Wasted Scenario #1:

Rewind: I’ve blogged about these skirts. How beautiful is the embroidery. How perfect is the color. How wonderful they are because they can be worn again.

white skirt, green embroidery

Fast-forward: I saw another dress which D and I thought is more suitable for our bridesmaids. As for the skirt, I took one and gave my mother the other. One more is left in my closet.

Read more…

and the engrossment deepens

I was visiting some of my bookmarked wedding blogs when I came to OneWed and read this: Bugdet Wisely, But Splurge for your Dream Wedding Dress. It piqued my interest. Being a self-proclaimed budget bride who refuses to splurge on a dress I will wear only once, I had to read what she is saying about spending all the way on a wedding dress. How will she drive her point? How will she justify it?

Spend on a dress that will make you feel beautiful because IT IS YOUR BIG DAY, that’s her point. A statement that a lot of people has told me a lot of times before. But she was able to say in a way that seems to make a lot more sense than anyone did. Indeed, it sounds more logical although, still not convincing enough. But I was intrigued by her wit and her opinions so I tracked her down on her blog, The Bespoke Bride (update: the blog was deleted already), where I would find yet another very interesting entry:

And this time, not only did I see her point, I also saw myself in her. She, too, initially want to spend as little as possible and bought a gown because it’s the most beautiful gown that her budget can buy. So it should be okay. Only, it’s not.

“Here is the segue to trust your instinct. You should not have to convince yourself to love your dress. You should walk out and feel that it is the right one.  It does not matter if it’s couture or a cotton sundress. You must love how you feel in the dress. Like many things in life, you should not buy it because it’s a great deal. I knew all this. This had been my mantra from the get go. But I defied my own logic, and bought the dress.”

And in the next paragraph is a feeling that I’m secretly harboring inside me. A feeling that I hope D will understand, a decision that I wish he will cave in.

“It hung in my closet for a week during which time I continued to look online at other dresses. I felt like I was cheating. I knew then this was not my dress. I didn’t feel fabulous in it. I didn’t feel fabulous about it. This gorgeous lace, and crystal embellished gown and I were not meant to be. Somehow I managed to buy a dress from my “do not wants” because I didn’t go with my instinct. I was going to have to find another dress. Was it in the budget? No. But I would sell the dress, and I would make it work. Because I do not want to feel just OK walking down the aisle, I want to feel amazing – I want to love how I feel in it.”

And you know what will MOST LIKELY happen next. I just need to find a way to ease the guilt of my spending on so many things that we end up not using for the wedding.

On the same note, I wonder how much is she selling this dress that she will NOT be wearing.

lace wedding gown with crystal embellishments

‘Coz this is exactly what I want, lace with crystal embellishments. One bride’s loss can be another bride’s gain. =)

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