It’s been a slow week for me. I didn’t plan it to be this way.
Before Monday, I’ve been enthusiastically listing things down: future plans, short-term goals, to do’s, to buy’s, all the thoughts that I’ve been lugging in my head for sometime now because I wanted to unload, and unloading them would mean starting the week with a clearer mind and hopefully, a well-running one, too. So I thought I was in for a productive week.
But Monday came, and one thing didn’t go as planned, and everything just followed unfortunately. The whole week went by as if a reluctant employee dragging himself to work. And now, it’s Friday already. Try as I might to pinpoint which exactly curbed my inspired I’m-ready-for-work mood, I just can’t. I just don’t know which.
Maybe it was the heat. It’s been particularly hot this week, but we mostly stayed inside our room with the AC turned on. So maybe it was the lack of sunlight or the stale air or the positively charged ions emitted by the AC (in the world of ions, it’s the negative ones that create good vibes), that’s kept me in the unmotivated and lethargic state that I am this week.
Or maybe it’s my thyroiditis acting up again. If it’s any consolation to me, having a thyroid problem gives me something else to blame for my brain fog episodes. That’s a valid medical excuse, thyroid problems affect the functioning of the brain.
Or maybe because I got the colds. Most members of the family had been sneezing or coughing last week. I guess I finally caught the virus and have been having bad mornings with teary eyes, clogged nose, sore throat and a lot of sneezing.
Or maybe, it’s because something’s been on my mind again. Actually, it’s been there for, what, I think 5 years or more already and it just resurfaced lately.
These two, Jack Cheng and Paolo Coelho, they definitely know better.
One effect of holding something in your mind for the longest time without doing anything about it is it can paralyze you. It works subliminally, affecting your mood, your mental processes and behavior. Even if you think you’re not thinking about it, it stamps your every thought like a watermark – that faint but still annoyingly visible mark in an image that you wish to use. You can ignore it, but you’re only fooling yourself.
It also causes one very time-wasting, hard-to-resist activity that take up most of your time without you being aware of it: daydreaming. Yeah, I’ve been daydreaming a lot.
And that is my week so far. Tomorrow, I’m off to the beach with my family (rejoice!). Hopefully I’ll get more than enough doses of negative ions to keep me up for the weeks to come.